baby daddy

On Thursday, you turned four months old. It was a pretty special occasion, because it was the same day your mama turned 348 months old. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, dude — “That’s really freaking old! I didn’t know people could get that old! Holy Cow! If I ever get that old, I hope someone is kind enough to just end it all for me.”

I thought the same thing when I was your age. As a matter of fact, you remind me a lot of me when I was your age — lots of unorchestrated movements, a bit of yelling, some tv watching and some staring straight off into the distance with no real goal or target in sight, and the fact that you’re a pretty big kid.

And I mean that with the best of intentions. No, I’m not saying you’re fat, or that you’re “big and tall,” but that you’re big. If it makes you feel any better, your mama and I wouldn’t have thought anything about your size until the doctor had to measure and remeasure and remeasure your height (then double-check it on the average growth chart), and then do the same thing with your weight.

Maybe the reason is because most kids who eat the formula you have to ingest don’t like it so much — and I don’t either; the best way I can describe it would be to say: “Take your shoes off and stick them in the microwave for ten minutes; scoop the goo into a cup and drink it” — and so they don’t gain an awful lot of weight.

But apparently you like the taste of liquid rubber, and that’s why you currently sport the following statistics (and those measurement’s percentile scores).

What’s a percentile?
It’s just part of one tile.

Anyway…
Weight: 17lb 9oz. (90th perctle.)
Height: 27″ (97th perctle.)

That’s a big kid. Seriously, you’re the height of the average 9 month old, and weigh as much as a 6 month old.

And we just thought the Carter’s and Osh Kosh B’Gosh folks had no idea how big a 3 month old actually was. And then we worried about their size charts for 6 months and 9 months as well, because all the clothes we bought you two weeks ago no longer fit. (It’s pretty interesting to take a guy like you into a store and buy him 12-month-old clothes and see the look on the cashiers’ faces when we correct them and say: no, he just turned 4 months old).

You’re just so goshdarn cute it makes me want to eat your huge face.