So your mom and I went in for our weekly check up with the obstetrician today, little dude. What’s an obstetrician? It’s a guy in pajamas who knows an awful lot more about the meaning of life than I do; plus, he’s got a wicked sense of humor.
After manipulating your mother in such a way that would get his teeth knocked out in any other circumstance, he said: “I can feel his head.” He smiled.
Whoa.
“That means you’re going to be ready soon,” he said. He smiled.
Whoa.
How long ’til he’s here? we asked.
“Oh, I’d say about four weeks.” He smiled.
Whew.
How big is he? we asked.
“Judging by where his head is, I’d say…ohhhhh, about six-and-a-half, seven pounds.” He smiled.
Oh, wow. That’s pretty cool. Means you’re not this too-tiny thing any more. You’re something of substance; you’ve got mass, and I can judge 6 or 7 pounds. Gave me a pretty good feel for how big your…wait a second. Did he say another four weeks? Uh, ok. Hold on.
Wait. Stop moving. I’ve gotta do some math.
No, not meth. Math. They say babies at your stage of growth start gaining about a pound a week. This means you’re goung to get nice and ripe in the next few weeks, and if it takes as long as he said then you’re going to weigh somewhere between 10.5 and 11 pounds at birth.
Oh man, I don’t think your mother can handle that. I don’t think a moose could handle that. But I think the fact your doctor smiled when he told us that really drove us nuts. The fact he left us with the following “joke” didn’t make us any happier: “Oh, don’t worry. We’re never off by more than three pounds.”
10 responses so far ↓
luxhie // May 17, 2007 at 8:36 pm |
A pound a week in the last few weeks – is that right? Never knew that.
She can handle it, just stand for the delivery and let gravity do the work. And eat lobster the last night or so (helps get that baby outta there!)
Nobodyknows // May 18, 2007 at 11:33 am |
Pretty sure I read that somewhere… probably on the internet, which means it’s true.
As for getting the baby out, we’re going to have a going to have a contest to see who can eat the most Indian food and drink the most castor oil at the same sitting.
luxhie // May 19, 2007 at 10:08 pm |
email me: definefit2btied
I’m with yahoo.
[Just so I don't take up incessant amounts of room here at your blog. Last child: 10', 3 oz. No stictches. Standing.]
blueberrybaby // May 23, 2007 at 5:12 pm |
Just came across your blog — if you look at your “search results”, I am the one who found you by Googling “baby daddy” because I was trying to determine if it should be BABY’S daddy or BABY daddy for a friend of mine… but I digress…
Great blog! It’s fun to see one written from the DTB’s point of view. Love your sense of humor & can’t wait to read the birth story.
luxhie // May 24, 2007 at 4:26 am |
Hey, what’s the tiny smiley face on the upper right-side portion of the screen?
Jenn // June 3, 2007 at 1:21 am |
I found your blog from truedadconfessions.com, in case you’re curious as to who I am and how I got here.
Good luck to you and your wife. You’re right – OBs certainly have a sense of humor!
Honestly though, I wouldn’t worry *too* much about the OB’s estimation of size. Ultrasounds are known to be up to two pounds off… so what does that say about an estimate based on feeling the baby’s head and wriggling a finger or two around?
Christian // June 7, 2007 at 2:15 am |
You’re bringing back some wild memories, my friend…and the little one on this end is only 9 months old now, but it feels like forever-ago. Your writing style continues to impress, sense of humor/wonder, too. Enjoy these final weeks. NOTHING more beautiful than knowing your gal is about ready to go into momland for real.
Mikaila // June 7, 2007 at 3:49 pm |
It’s been so long since you’ve posted… I wonder if I’m the only one wondering if this baby has arrived! I’ve enjoyed reading your story thus far!
Leyre // June 11, 2007 at 6:13 pm |
I’m wondering whether little dude has arrived as well!
Nobodyknows // June 14, 2007 at 9:47 pm |
He’s here!