Today’s vocabulary word: Disappointment

So you’re due in about 8 weeks, little dude. That’s not that far away. As a matter of fact, you’re due 10 days after school lets out for the year — which is really helpful for your mom and I because it means I’ll automatically have three months off to match her three months of materinity leave. Very cool.

But the more she tells me about this whole pregnancy thing, the more you’re beginning to scare me. We’ve gotten a couple signs already that you might come early. That, sir, is unacceptable. If you come early, you’re grounded. See, if you come early then I have to have a substitute teacher cover my classes for god-knows-how-long; and since I’m not a fan of having a sub in my room for more than 10 minutes at a time, I’ll have to accept this problem.

Then again, who should be in the business of getting used to problems occurring in life? You! That’s right! Good answer! Yes, life is a long and difficult process full of disappointments and problems, but if you learn to live with those two things, you’ll find many rewards. Me, I’ve been through all this, so I don’t really need a refresher.

For example, I teach 8th grade English. Do I really need to give any further examples of the problems I have in my job and of the disappointments I find within my classroom? Must I outline the specifics of exactly why the human race is doomed? There’s not a lot going on in the heads of those kids, little dude. Simple as that. They’re just 13 and 14 year-olds trying to figure out who they are and why they feel so itchy all the time. They’re too concerned with themselves to have an insight into hey what’s that? A hacky sack? Gimme!

I see disappointment every day, little dude. Every single day. Sometimes minute to minute. Sometimes I find myself shaking hands with new forms of disappointment — they come in during my prep hour to introduce themselves:

“Hey there, how’s it goin’?”

Pretty swell, how can I help you?

“You got a minute, or are you busy?”

Actually, I’m kind of in the mid…

“Great! Look. My name is Slack-Ass, and I’ll be here sometime during sixth hour to help out with your kids.”

But they have a paper due sixth hour.

“Yeaahhhhh. That’s right. See you in a few hours.”

But they’re supposed to finish their final drafts.

“Oh, hey. Would it bug you if I brought my associates, Crying Girl and Sweat along with me? They have some business they need to finish up.”

What w…

“Thanks! See you in about an hour.”

And if you decide to come early, son, then we’re going to have a big problem, because one of my least favorite forms of disappointment is the Early Bird. Always eager to be in my space, eager to talk, eager to jump all around the room, coming in and out, slamming doors, asking me “What’s this? What are we doing? What are you doing? Are you busy? Can a tree have feelings? Where do dreams go when you wake up?”

I was that kid when I was in school, and I just don’t think I could handle having another one of me around. So, if you do decide to come early, I’ll do the same thing I do for those early burds who come into my classroom every day — I’ll put you to work grading papers.